11.14.2009

my grandmother's house

Everybody always has a special place where when having troubles or feeling tired, we really want to back to enjoy a peacefulness, to escape from the stresses of life. For me, that place is my grandmothers’ house.I always remember affectionately my grandmother's house with the warm and familiar scenery .

The scenery is very beautiful and peaceful. The gate to welcome everyone is a star-apple tree; it is very tall which rugged bark. In the summer afternoon, I often sat in the shadow of the large leaf canopies to listen the sounds of the rustled in the light breeze and the interesting melodies of the birds, and enjoyed the magical fairy tales that my grandmother told me. Going through the star-apple gate, there is a small pond on the right, it was surrounded by the coconut trees, water is so cool and limpid that I could see the bottom, colorific fishes that play together. The fishes make pink water-lilies which is in the middle of the pond shake.Coming to, in front of the door, squash trellis heavy fruit sways in the wind,yellow blossomes attracted many bees came to suck honey. All of these scence above made my peaceful childhood in which the image of my grandmother house is the most meaningful thing to me.

The house behind squash trellis without upstairs is quite simple but it is very large and cool, it is a thatched house which was made from the bamboos and the leaves of the coconut trees and it is divided in tree parts. The largest is the central part of house for visitor and family reunion, it consists of many furniture made from wooden, a table and six chair is in the middle of two plank beds. Main room and bed room are separated by a cupboard, which is set up an altar. The bed room has only one bed, a wardrobe and a steel line used to hang the clothes. Without door, the main house connected with kitchen where my grandmother cooks the best wonderful dishes I has ever enjoyed in the world. Despite it is only a humble thatched house,it really is a special place where saved all sweet childhood memories with my family. Therefore, I love it very much.

Now, I live in HCM city and my grandmother no longer live with me anymore.Sometimes, i still come back my mother's village.Althought everything was change, those familiar images of mother’s village engraved upon my mine.

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Write with all your heart!!! nói...

Ngoc Nga CRITERIA GRADES COMMENTS
Paragraph level
Unity, Coherence A
Development A
Supporting ideas A
Grammar D (RW) covered ash-grey barks; foliate rustled in; fish is colorific and play together make the pink water-lilies; Particularly, squash trellis in front of the door that is the best thing I remember, it is quite small but it attracted many bees came to suck honey it has a lot of motley yellow blossom and the green leaves, and winds sway squashes, I often joke and play cat and mouse under it. ; and divided tree parts; a table and six chair is in the middle of two plank beds; everything was change
Vocabulary B+
Essay level
Introductory paragraph ( the Hook, background and thesis statement) A
Development and supporting ideas A-
Connections among the paragraphs C
Concluding paragraph C the images of mother’s village??? engraved upon my mine

Final Score RW